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12 comic book ads that taught us to be cynical - hospital bed pads

12 comic book ads that taught us to be cynical - hospital bed pads

2021-10-19

12 comic book ads that taught us to be cynical  -  hospital bed pads
The child is stupid.
It is well known that there is a whole industry that is booming.
That's why we often see an ad in comic books when we are kids, because we know that the ad is too good to be true.
But we still put the money in an envelope and after four to six weeks we get something amazing that makes it easier for the rest of our lives. That thing? Disappointment.
This is our tribute to all the great products that make us cynical. 12X-
Ray SpecsEver would like you to see through the walls?
Or women's clothes?
Or men's clothing? Dog's clothes?
Don't worry.  we won't judge you.
But we will give it to you once. in-a-
Life-long opportunity to actually have Xray vision!
As the ad says, all you have to do is buy these special X-
Ray glasses, you can be the disgusting leering metamorphosis you 've always wanted to be.
In addition, you can probably diagnose certain diseases at a glance.
You waited six to eight weeks for the delivery and found these X-
Actually, ray glasses don't use real X. rays (
Could be a good thing because everyone who uses them will develop huge brain tumors)
You won't see anything, even them.
These old-fashioned X
The Ray spec lens consists of two pieces of cardboard with feathers in the middle that will blur your vision, causing the two to look similar to X-ray photograph.
In other words, they give you blurry vision, which is available for free by squinting.
What we're saying is that if your doctor announces you're a tumor
Use a pair for free and get a second opinion.
So your eight years on this planet have proved that hard work is for fools.
But you still want money to buy something like comics. There's .
And then you find this little ad.
It's small and almost like a "secret ".
A machine that turns ordinary paper into money. . .
Just turn the knob and the real money will come out. Sounds good.
Actually, it sounds good.
It could be illegal.
Even if you are just a child is illegal, you will never do anything difficult, and when you are caught, you will be rich and can hire the best lawyers.
What will be the problem?
You have to put the money in first.
Of course, it looks like paper goes in and out as money, but it's all mean, cheap tricks.
No, the only way you can make money with this thing is to show it to some local mobs and try to get them to buy it from you.
They don't play kids, do they?
Kryptonite think about it: you can bring all the powerful supermen to his knees with your palm.
No one can beat Superman.  you're the first one.
Think about walking around and having everyone point to you and say, "Hey, that's the kid who beat Superman.
"People will respect you and even be afraid of you!
$3 in total. 50!
Behind this amazing product is an entrepreneur who has some extra Stone, a can of green paint and a vision.
You might wonder what kind of asshole would cheat the kids on their money by selling them green rocks.
But the same person may correctly point out that you should lose money because what is it like for a corrupt child to dream of killing Superman?
We like to think of all the frightened little kids, and when they find out that their rocks are fake, they decide that the whole thing is a sting action by Superman to get the address of a potential super villain
You hear them: it's absolutely important for every driver, housewife --
Teenagers, athletes and law enforcement agencies!
If you don't fit into one of these categories, buy one anyway, and maybe one day you'll be a teenager yourself, or even one of those outstanding closed-ups --
We always see ins on TV and in movies!
You will be reminded of upcoming fires, floods, snowstorms, riots, loose criminals, plane crashes, tornadoes, and even bad traffic conditions!
Before others, you will know what will happen and you will be like God!
In addition, you will receive 10-
Page book for truck driver code!
We can't emphasize it too much.  this is absolutely crucial for closing the door. ins!
When it comes time to warn us of "fires, floods, Hurricane tornadoes", we like to think that regular stations will do this, and in addition, music can be played on many channels.
But hey, teens can stick them on their bikes so they are warned of danger ahead!
All the dangers except many wells
They will get the ass rebate they deserve as he is a fool riding a bike with a CB receiver.
While there is a benefit, it is that you can listen to the truck driver, and if the truck driver knows something, it is a prostitute.
Truck drivers have slang for a dozen prostitutes and none of them are included in your handy 10-
Truck driver code manual.
Never look short again!
Tired of being short?
Let's face it.  tall people get more appointments, more respect and better work.
But if you can't afford an expensive body
To extend the operation, you can simply find yourself a pair of "weight lifting" heights --Increase the pad.
Yes, they are just wedges that you put in your shoes.
Of course, according to the picture above, they will make you about eight years old.
But you have to pay the price that makes you feel like you're wearing high heels.
The promise that shoes will "invite romance" seems a bit suspicious, because the effect will only last until you take off your shoes, so you 'd better have, cough, once undressing starts, impressed the ladies.
Just like you take off your shirt and get an Olympic gold medal there.
The statement that you would "find and qualify for the best job" seems more questionable.
May be found, but qualified?
"Sir, your resume does not show any gynecological experience, and your background check shows that you are a convicted sex offender, but your height is impressive.
Congratulate you on becoming our newest gynecologist!
There are pens from three companies here.  try not to lose them.
"Although we don't doubt that these shoe inserts are better than the growth plan. . .
It offers a series of "lessons" that add up to 6 inch of your height.
That's right, kid, the reason you're shorter than anyone else in the class is that you don't learn height like they do.
Border Lodge! Yes you!
I can have my own border cottage, just like Lincoln, Adams, and the madmen who think Y2K will end the world and come soon ---
Crazy people who think 2012 will destroy the world!
You can reproduce all the great things you see in the movie!
Of course only 23-square-
But in Manhattan, an apartment of this size costs $2,000 a month.
No, the main problem with your border cottage is that it's made of 100% cardboard, a less sturdy shell material.
Especially if you live in a border area, you need a home that can resist things like bear attacks, strong winds, rain and occasional light kicks.
They are cool though they sell them in large quantities ("5 for $4! ")
So, if your cabin is destroyed in a natural disaster, or urinated by a dog at home, you can just find a replacement.
In fact, with these things, we were wondering why a homeless person would choose a fridge box.
Maybe your border cottage can't protect you from the bears, but with these shoes you can surpass the bears!
How can shoes help you accomplish such a magical feat of speed?
Your money is so simple.
Spendthrift boy!
This is all designed by BF Goodrich!
See PF flyer shoes have a comfortable rubber pad with an amazing "rigid wedge" in the middle of the sole to keep your feet in place.
Never worry, when you are in the forest with your two young male companions "burning trails", be able to escape the circus bear again!
This is one of the situations where they know they never have to deal with a refund because they know that any child who is in trouble with the bear will not complain alive.
Business is a ruthless game.
Regardless of your athletic ability, this shoe claims to have a magical "rigid wedge" in the middle of the shoe to secure your bones. . .
Between this and the height.
Earlier, we had to ask what was going on with comic book advertisers who wanted to torture their children's feet.
Is this a big front line for a group of foot doctors trying to drive business?
The Shoker is an almost invisible hand --held self-
This will allow you to weaken your victim's defense system without requiring exercise or years of martial arts training!
It was invented by a well-trained Master of unarmed combat, Kiyo Mi Gawa, who won more than 21 titles.
Gawa thinks that ordinary people need to have their own hands.
Without years of training, hold down equipment to learn boring things like "responsibility" and "proper use.
"Shocker works on the pneumatic" weakening pad principle "that allows the air hammer to crush through solid concrete!
It promises "even fatal" results and comes with a "skull cracked sign" lapels pin that shows everyone you're fully ready to kill a guy!
It is said that this shock man works on the "pain wave" and despite the name, it is not actually powered on, it is just something that you have in your hand, like the kind of call button you will use after you try to protect yourself with this device.
Advertising really likes the idea that hype is paralyzing people, and actually it does.
Like the one shown in the ad, try to break a brick and you will definitely hurt your hand.
Our favorite part must be a disclaimer on the order stating that "you will not let the shock fall into the hands of any dangerous or irresponsible person.
"Dude, you put an advertisement for this thing in a comic book.
4.  hypnotist buy our hypnotist-
Coin/device/instructions guide you can let anyone do whatever you want!
Hypnotize a bully and ask him to give himself a wedding or ask the girl who has been giving you a kiss to give you a kiss!
Or go further!
Make dating rape easy-
There is no need to buy nasty pills and slip in her drink!
Heck, why stop dating rape when you can get your school principal to hand you the wallet while doing the funky chicken!
Hypnosis will give you control over any brainless drone you want and you will have that power like God!
You will be better than God!
You will be the same as Oprah!
This is a child.
The best thinking.
Why don't companies and dictators use this forced hypnosis technology to take over the world?
Why, because obviously they're not cool enough to read the same comic I read!
Maybe at some point in the future, you realize that if hypnosis works, it needs the subject to be very relaxed and take advice, so if someone is walking or hitting a ball, then stupid hypnosis --
The coins on their faces may be that they are not relaxed enough to be hypnotized.
Again, if you're a creepy fool who buys a hypnosis device from a comic book to finally score with a woman, those women are "very relaxed around you, the opportunity to accept the proposal is very slim.
When you quit your promotion, they will give you a chance to mess
However, the coins are very high. 3Life-
The size inflatable doll that came out with the woman over and over again?
Will it hurt your face to be slapped?
A restraining order blocking your mailbox?
There is a girl who will not refuse you no matter how fat, ugly, smelly, stupid, abnormal, killing or imprisoned you are!
Know your life-Paulie estelin
Inflatable female size!
You can name her, dress her, take her swimming, ask for madness in court with her and do whatever you want! We mean .
"So our largest readership is men between the ages of 10 and 15.
What is good product to promote in this field? ""Hmmmm . . .
How's life-
Size of plastic doll? ""Brilliant.
Make a few calls
"Unfortunately, any young person who has saved money for this miracle device has quickly discovered that, despite the advertising claims, they have ignored a key feature of the female anatomy.
Although we do praise their refund guarantee if you are not "100% happy.
"We would like to meet those who work on the phone line and they accept refund requests that are not" 100% satisfied "with inflatable women.
They may have some funny stories to tell, or they may have terrible stories to tell.
Isn't it cool that monkeys in teacup have their own pet money?
How much will you spend on a pet that is undoubtedly the coolest pet in your neighborhood?
So how about the offer for this almost free small portable monkey?
What a reasonable quotation!
Believe it or not, the monkey is not a stuffed animal.
It's true, and it's possible to get one.
The scam is that the company will give you 20 coupons for you to distribute for their special color photos that are actually black and white photos in the hands of customers, provided they are charged (
No, it doesn't make much sense).
Anyway, once you hand out the coupon, you actually have to bring 20 paying customers, which is almost impossible because the things you sell are retarded.
However, some children did succeed, and the company did send them a little monkey, usually a rolling monkey or a mar monkey.
Looking back, exotic animal trade is not regulated, so they don't realize it's not a good idea to take monkeys from South and Central America and hand them over to kids in the US.
So what you get is a wild monkey that is dug out of the jungle, locked in a cage, then transported out, arrived half dead and in the mood to bite or catch
In addition, these monkeys can live to be 45 years old in captivity, so these children live for a long time.
Still, when they show their friends that they have a real live monkey, they see the look on their faces, which may make the whole thing worth it.
1 Polaris nuclear submarine "how proud you will be as commander of the world's most powerful weapon!
"That's right, kid, you, yes, you can command a nuclear threat that can kill millions of people!
Equipped with a real launch missile and torpedo, a real Periscope, a light control panel with seven full feet long!
It's fun to sink, surface and explore the bottom of the sea!
Become one of the world's nuclear powers!
It only cost less than seven dollars!
Remember when we pointed out what cardboard was used to make the border cottage not a good material?
The situation of the submarine is worse.
We think that's why all of their quirky cardboard boating races are focused on seeing everyone sink.
Don't tell us it's just a submarine game and it doesn't mean being taken to sea.
Anyway, this thing provides a "working" torpedo.
That means we should be able to fill this thing up with food and then move on to six-
Head to international waters to sink a Russian cruiser.
We wanted to know how many children brought their Polaris submarine to the center of the lake and found it sinking, but there was no "surface" and "no water" promised by other more expensive submarines ".
You want to know why the world is full of dictators like Kim Jong Il pushing the nuclear program?
Because they were kids decades ago.
They waited patiently for their mail order nuclear submarine, only to find it a cheap piece of cardboard junk.                                                                            

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